Welcome back soul bards and lovelies,
Give up. Quit. Stop. End the process. Halt the progress. Regret a split second, rash decision that dares to have the lying audacity to say you’re not worth it.
I used to say all the time to my writing students prior to March 2020, “I dare you to disbelieve the lies other people tell you about yourself and drop that garbage as hard as they projected their personal baggage bin all over you.”
In reality, we are already doing it to ourselves hard enough. We do not ever deserve the outside voices when they agree with those lies. Why betray yourself like that a second time by letting someone else’s voice lower your volume?
Like the season that today, Beltane, marks as a transition from one point of the year to another, we ignite a bright fire in ourselves that leads to our empowering and our becoming. Like an egg cracking open, we have both an Ozian-like tendency to think we are a bad egg, when really we have been a better egg all along.
Pause. Reset. Reboot. Pivot.
That’s what mid-March 2025 to mid-April 2025 has been about. Accepting that I am not as bad of an egg as I have allowed myself to believe—and I think a lot of you are in that boat and feeling a little scrambled along with me. “Yeah, Jenna, no duh. We were wondering about that over the last few vlogs and newsletters.”
I adore and appreciate you all for going through this journey of expression and creation with me all the more when the darkness casts it’s shadow of doubt. I know from playing so much Kingdom Hearts what the opening to that game says about shadows. The more light there is, the bigger and more heartless the shadow seems. However, Link shows us in The Legend of Zelda that facing our shadow is ultimately like sitting down with yet another teacher in life, sent to remind us of our choice to either empower ourselves or dismantle years of hard work in months or moments.
What if Instead of Pulling it All Down or Shrinking into Darkness, You’re Pulling Back to Recharge?
Self-doubt for us creative types has us pulling down—or more accurately, shrinking down. Ironically enough, the shadow might look small at first when it shows up in our light, but that’s what it wants us to think. That we have to shrink down into that size.
What if your shadow is pulling you back a few steps. Not a lot. A few to gain a view in the shade. Like a slingshot, you’re pulling back to rest? Maybe. More like to recharge.
The kinetic energy build up into potential energy behind holding back on that slingshot in a stealthy, shaded, retreat-filling position was what I, and many of us, needed. After a full year or more of finding a new career opportunity through Full Time Purpose’s coaching programs for coaches and businessowners, while growing my business’s goods and services in tandem, and in-between working odd and end full-time jobs elsewhere?
I did not realize why this pullback was necessary until about ten days ago… I thought I was slipping and shrinking in March. Not so much the case.
Before You Release, Yell FOUR (State Comic Con)
The Universe, God, Goddess, Saint, Angel, the Great Divine, or as Mat Shaffer calls it, “The Purple Monkey Dishwasher,” usually can sense which cycle we need to go through. The teacher rarely speaks during the test—trust me, I know. I was that teacher, lol. Students loathed Mrs. S during testing time because why? Socratic questioning was and is my friend as a test proctor. Every question asked to me was and is given a question of guidance to an answer through discovery learning.
We are often in that cycle for our own good, and once we pass the sensors or the test for learning the lessons related to the cycle, a new opportunity (usually its a series of) knocks. That was what happened around Easter 2025, when Four State Comic Con sent me an email offering to take me from the waitlist to fill a cancelled spot in Artist Alley spot number 23.
My numerology friends are giggling, aren’t you? 2 + 3 = 5 = a number of change!
Considering I was waitlisted, I did not hesitate for long to go through that specifc door. If you want to follow the journey of preparing for con in about a week over on YouTube, check the vlogs by clicking here.
Preparing for a vendor show a few weeks earlier than I planned was not on my schedule in April. However, I am thrilled that I went. Ian was called a book boyfriend (yup, Vampire Daddy is STILL smirking his Scottish behind off about that one). I witnessed so many amazing cosplays, some pictured above. I met friends and family of friends who are now friends, also pictured above. People poked and prodded me for boxsets and the book box. It was like a final exam for better and for worse—the better is winning out in the long run.
All while also livestreaming in the evenings for HeartBreathings Writing Community’s quarterly Virtual Writing Retreat weekend? (Click here for our schedule of sprints! Thanks in advance for supporting my fellow admin and our captain at the helm, Sarra Cannon!)
This past weekend was one of the best ends to an April I have had in years—like maybe since all the way back when I was stage managing A Midsummer Night’s Dream in college at Frostburg State University circa 2011. Click here for the article I found on it! Back when all I did was dream of managing a YouTube channel as a stage manager… fitting that has come full circle alongside the teacher me becoming a coach, and the fanfiction writer me finally taking the advice to publish my works, ne?
That’s what Four State Comic Con and HBWC’s VWR made me realize. These last five years have been full of tests and learning experiences—all of which I am grateful to go through. They have made learning easier regarding how to effectively use our shadow sides alongside and in tandem with the light and magic we naturally are.
Giving Gratitude Where It is Due (to All of You)
It sounds cliche and cheesy to some subscribers or followers on various platforms for creators on them to be grateful. Dudes, you’re not going to give yourself the credit for showing up. That’s why we creators lean into the gratitude.
I’ve been heavy into it this past week. I have so many friends I am very grateful for, who probably think and feel I’ve taken them for granted. In reality, that was not my intention while healing myself and learning how to human. I don’t necessarily think I am only learning how to adult is why I say it that way—and I imagine some of my fellow 30-somethings appreciate and agree with that notion.
That’s why when I crossed 1.6k subscribers on YouTube this past week in the middle of Comic Con and HBWC’s VWR, I sobbed. Like clearing the sinuses against my desire to do so right in that moment, and not because I took medication to give it an eviction notice kind of ugly cry. (Yes, to Josie Gross-y levels, If You’ve Never Been Kissed, that is). Instead of the self-doubt of contemplative failure that had caused it since about the middle of March, this time it was pure gratitude and joy.
From the shade of recharging, reflecting, and rebooting my systems after a long period of growth, I was awed and shaken to think that there are people who have supported me on this journey who are complete strangers. From the shadow of doubt, I heard people saying they loved my books loud and clear alongside my friends, authors and not, cheering me to come back into the light and play in the sandbox a little more.
To anyone who might have seen my darkness as anything other than directed at me, I owe you a grand apologize along with as much gratitude as I have to hug and share to the world.
To all of you, thank you. This journey has been all it has needed to be and more. While the growth seems slow in comparison to others, and it has taught me how to be a better human to myself and others along the way as much as my characters are learning the same lessons in different ways… I am thankful and would not trade this awakening into my most creative and empowered career path yet to share with the world because it is a gift. One that I am highly honored and humbled and thankful to be on because of people like you.
Thank you.
Eight letters. Two, powerful words. A tiny space in-between.
Thank you. You matter to me, so much.
Saving the Dates
Where can we hang out virtually and physically? Here’s an incomplete but important snapshot of the year ahead.
Save the Date Announcement Vlog for Authortube’s Friendsgiving
YouTube Vlog—Click here
May 1, 2025 (today!)
La Lune Metaphysical Shop’s Spring Awakenings Market-confirmed
Hagerstown, Maryland—Click here
May 10, 2025
VIRTUAL LAUNCH PARTY for A Merna Annals Side Quest: The Winged Ones
YouTube Livestream—Click here
June 6, 2025
VIRTUAL LAUNCH PARTY for A Merna Annals Side Quest: Pearl and Gold
YouTube Livestream—Click here
July 7, 2025
The Write Women Book Fest-confirmed
Bowie, Maryland—Click here
July 19-20, 2025
***If you have purchased either Authortube’s Anthologies for Bog Hag or Beltane, this event would be a really good one to secure a few autographs on your paperback copy in one weekend!***
***We are also talking about going for a collective “walk-and-scream” in the wooded areas around this event for some serious soul care. Join us for the unofficial gathering? It will be worth it, and the more, the merrier in the end!***
Harrisburg Comic & Pop Con-application submitted, waitlisted
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania—Click here
August 23-24, 2025
Four State Comic Con-application submitted, pending payment
Hagerstown, Maryland—Click here
April 25-27, 2026
Hey, What About Season Two of The Merna Annals?
As I said to visitors at Four State Comic Con, we are due to see The Merna Annals, Season 2, Book 6: Legacy of Lyric and Time drop later this year, and the rest of Books 7-10 are going to follow after. I also have several more Side Quest items that are going to be at the ready, too, including the story of how Iona becomes Ian’s first Turnling with Daughter Forever. I might not do a launch party for all of them is the reason why they are not yet added to the list above. Besides, I have a feeling a lot of people will be wanting Book 6 by then.
In the meantime, there’s a lot of new and fun merch, memberships, and The Tiara Book Box sitting over at https://themernaannals.com. Other than in-person events, I will be hosting virtual signings through here in the future, both inside and outside of The Tiara Book Box!
For those of you who were with us way back about nine months ago on Ream Stories, THANK YOU for your wait! Amaranth’s Library and The Tiara Book Box MIGRATED FINALLY! Along with witchy and book-related mugs (20 ounce, ceramics).
Was the Shadow Work in the Shadow Realm Worth It?
Of course, it was! Any anime or video game about those concepts are right in one regard: those aspects of us are not our enemy. They are often our self-discovery of what we were meant to be all along. It takes us to who are our real friends, family, and supporters have been up until and through the now into the future.
Often, strangers clap for us louder than we will for ourselves. So, if you have made it this far into the ramble, then please know I am so thankful for you. To my friends, family, and found family: THANK YOU, and I love you all so much more than I can say. Thank you all for showing up in your life and including me along the way, even if for a few moments through this newsletter, or my books, my social media, my services, or even as a friend and family member—especially if you are part of my own found family of merry misfits in real life. (My besties know who you are!!) Thank you for valuing me enough to take part in my creative expressions while I help others as best as I can, while I learn to be a better being.
Our voices matter.
Always have. Always will.
In all ways.
DANG IT!
All my hugs and may spring’s awakening into summer’s abundance bring you so much joy that it clears your head in various ways for the better!
Take care of yourself because you matter,
~Jenna OM
Your Soul Writer
